Finding the right partner is very similar to building a business.
Specifically, you need to:
- Develop the right product (i.e. yourself)
- Market that product to the right market (i.e. put yourself in situations with the types of women you want to date)
- Sell the product effectively (i.e. learn how to flirt, converse, and physically escalate interactions with the women you like.
Let’s dive into each of these briefly to give you a better idea of what I mean.
1. Developing the Ultimate “Product”
The first step in finding the right girl is becoming the right man.
Period.
Lots of guys try to skip this step by jumping into “game” and “pickup” (the proverbial marketing and sales).
And while this might work for getting a trial run (e.g. having sex or going on a date)… It’s not a viable long term strategy.
If you aren’t the right man, women will sense this after a few dates and they will quickly abandon ship.
You need to develop yourself into a man of substance and character who is capable of keeping your ideal woman BEFORE you set out to try and find her.
To get started, you must first ask yourself, “What kind of woman do I want to be with?”
Describe, in detail exactly who you want to date. What sort of character traits do they have? What do they look like? How do they spend their time? What are they like as a person?
Now flip the script and ask yourself, “What kind of man must I become to attract and keep a woman of this caliber”.
Because here’s the thing.
If you want to date an amazing woman, you need to be an amazing man. Period.
You can’t expect to date a beautiful gem of a girl who is always volunteering with underserved children, running a small online business, intelligent, athletic, well read, and kind if you’re overweight, lazy, and mean.
It just won’t happen.
Now, I can’t speak to the exact type of woman that you will want, but here are a few basics that should be applied NO MATTER what type of woman you want to be with:
- Take care of your physical health. Lift weights 2–3 times a week, sprint every week, eat a clean diet, and drink lots of water
- Have a MISSION and a purpose beyond women. It doesn’t matter if you want to end world hunger, build a 9-figure brand, release a best selling album, or travel to every country in the world, but you MUST have something that sets your soul on fire and motivates you every day. Passion is sexy and a man without a mission will never be able to keep a high caliber woman
- Develop an interesting skillset. Learn to dance, box, play the guitar, paint, speak a new language… Whatever. I don’t know a single woman alive who isn’t attracted to a man of many skills and talents
- Become a more masterful conversationalist (we’ll dive into that later). Learn how to tell jokes and stories. Understand body language. Learn to improve your communication skills because, at the end of the day, a relationship is ALL about communicating.
Remember, like attracts like. You might be able to b.s. your way into a few one night stands, but women are highly intuitive when it comes to a man’s character and they can quickly smell a fake.
Become the real deal.
Be the man she needs you to be and everything else becomes easy.
2. Market Yourself Effectively
Once you’ve developed yourself into the ideal product a.k.a the ideal man, you must learn to market yourself effectively to the women you desire.
This is comprised of two parts:
- Presenting yourself well
- Being in the right locations.
The first one is simple.
Take care of your appearance. Dress well. Take care of your body. Get a haircut. Put your best foot forward and ensure that first impressions are always rock solid.
The second part can be a little bit more challenging.
Lots of guys think that bars and clubs are the best places to meet women. They’re not.
You need to figure out where your ideal woman is going to spend her time and go to those places.
If you want a smart, nerdy, and cute girl… A bookstore or coffee shop is where you’ll want to start going. (or even comicon haha)
If you want a musician or an artist, then go to open mic nights or museums.
Join local meetups your ideal girlfriend would go to.
Build a social circle filled with like-minded people.
Go where the type of woman you want to be with will go.
In the same way that there are AMAZING products out there that no one has ever heard of, I know dozens of AMAZING men who would make the perfect boyfriend or husband but are still single because they never put themselves in the right locations to meet the women that they want.
If you’re single and have already done all of the internal work necessary to attract the right woman (i.e. you’ve become the right man) then I’d recommend that you spend less than 4 hours a day at home (when you’re not sleeping).
Hang out at coffee shops, go to meetups, go to museums, just go and live life and get out of the four walls you call home.
Because the woman you want isn’t waiting for you in your bedroom.
She’s out there in the real world.
3. Selling the Crap Out of Yourself for Love and Profit
Developing yourself and putting yourself in the right environments won’t do a damn thing unless you are able to effectively “sell” yourself.
What I mean when I say this is that you must learn how to communicate more effectively.
You can be the most amazing man in the world, but if you suck at conversations and don’t know how to effectively talk to women so that they REALIZE how amazing you are then you’ll be screwed.
Think about all of the amazing products out there that people know about but don’t buy.
I guarantee you there are at least 20–30 amazing purchases you could make right now that would dramatically improve your life, but you won’t do it because they company doesn’t know how to sell their product effectively.
They don’t know how to convey the right message to convince you that you should make a purchase.
It’s the same thing with dating.
Even if you’re the most amazing man in the world and you’re in the right locations, if you can’t sell yourself by being funny, having great conversations, and conveying status without acting needy, you’re not going to date the women you want.
Period.
So learn to sell yourself.
Read books like:
- How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie
- How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes
- The Anti Pickup Line by Charlie Houpert
- The Dating Playbook for Men (shameless self plug)
- People Skills by Robert Boulton
Watch as many stand up comedies as you can and develop your sense of humor. Watch TEDx talks about becoming a better story teller.
Learn how to sell yourself through conversation and you will eventually find the right girl.
Love
Maurine Davine 